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Date:  Mon, 03 Mar 2003 15:33:46 -0500
From:  SirSidney <drsidney@bellsouth.net>
Subject:  (Nobo:01833) Re: Commentaries on Basho-: Fourth; The Sound of Whitenessd
To:  nobo@shiki1.cc.ehime-u.ac.jp
Message-Id:  <3E63BC2A.20705@bellsouth.net>
In-Reply-To:  <E18poj4-0001pD-00@smtp.mailbox.co.uk>
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Not only are Hugh's poems profoundly aesthetic, but his erudition shines 
through each time.  How fortunate we are to have him on the list.
    Sir Sidney



hughbyg@mailbox.co.uk wrote:

>IV
>
>Basho-'s sound of whiteness, and Buson's sound
>of darkness.
>
> umi kurete kamo no koe honokani shiroshi
>
>There are 17 phonetic sounds in this single line.
>When it is presented in three lines, as most
>editions do, we find a surprise.
>
>5     umi kurete
>5     kamo no koe
>7     honokani shirishi
>
>The last line could have been: honokani kiku,
>"is indistinctly heard." But then Basho-'s poem
>would be like so many uninteresting modern
>nature haiku. The clause, "The wild duck's voice
>is indistinctly white," contrasts with Buson's
>clause, "The sound is dark."  Buson's lines
>were:
>
>5   furi-ido ya
>7   kani tobu uwo no
>5   oto kurashi
>
>    Old well -
>    fish leap[ing up] at crabs:
>    dark is the sound.
>[In my translation, I am assuming "kani" may also
>mean 'very small crustaceans'. Some translators
>use 'mosquitoes', but that is not the word Buson
>used. As most of Buson's poems are from the
>creative imagination, I wonder if Buson ever
>actually saw the event of the poem.]
>
>The 5-5-7 rhythm that Basho- used is unusual.
>The kata_uta, the half song, is 5-7-7. The
>rhythm of the Man'yo-shu waka are 5-7/5-7/7.
>and the rhythms of the later court waka and tanka
>are 5/7-5/7-7 or 5-7-5/7-7. This latter is
>supposed to have given rise to the split,
>kami no ku (5-7-5) and shimo no ku (7-7) from
>which the haiku form supposedly evolved. For a
>long time I have disputed this "split" theory
>and have proposed two other theories: the
>proto-haiku from pivots in the long cho-ka, and
>the primordial songs of the pre-literary stage
>before texts were recorded. [See Letters from
>Huang Zhijuan: Letter XXI].
>
>Was Basho-'s 5-5-7 form just a variation or did
>he intend this form?  We can find 5-5 lines in
>Han Poetry. I give a Yueh-Fu genre ballad from
>this Han Period of Chinese Poetry.
>
>Line 11:  character 1  ch 2  ch 3  ch 4  ch 5
>Line 12:  character 1     2     3     4     5
>
>floating  clouds  cover  white  sun
>wanderer    -     not    care   return
>
>"Floating clouds veil the white sun.
>The wanderer: No thought to return."
>
>Translated: Yip Wai-Lim, p68,69 Chinese Poetry,
>ISBN 0-8223-1946-2; 1997  Duke University Press.
>
>Now we know that Basho-'s Wild Duck poem was
>written during the period, 1681-1685, when
>Chinese poetry influenced him very much.
>
>5  The sea is growing dark:  Proposition I
>5  a wild duck's voice
>7  indistinctly white.       Proposition II
>
>[Translated Hugh Bygott]
>
>In the Japanese language the adjective has a
>verbal function and can be inflected to show
>tense.  So both Basho- and Buson have a clause in
>the last line. Both poems have two propositions.
>In English, the predicate requires the explicit
>verb.  Sadly, verbs are missing in so many
>modern haiku as a result of Imagist Theory.
>Neither Basho- or Buson compose under such
>restrictions.
>Many attempts have been made to explain Basho-
>hearing white sound. The fading light, the sea
>foam, light reflection, even the wild duck's
>breath have been proposed to explain a situation
>which is false. Why has the most obvious
>explanation not been accepted? Both Basho- and
>Buson are speaking metaphorically. A metaphor is
>necessarily false, but as a model of reality it
>brings out something which otherwise would be
>difficult to say. Once more we come up against
>post Shiki haiku theory and the effects of the
>Eliot-Pound imagist restrictions. Images are all
>important, verbs can be dispensed with, rhythm
>is frowned upon, and metaphors and symbols not
>allowed.  I urge young and new haiku writers to
>reject these restrictions and to write freely
>from the imagination.
>
>Hugh Bygott 
>
>
>7   kani tobu uwo no
>
>
>
>
>  
>